Christmas Homecoming
by coolsville times
Summary: Jubilee decides to go home for the holidays but it's not to the home that everyone thinks shes going to. Rated just to be on the safe side. Please R&R. Happy Holidays everyone.


**Disclaimer:** If I owned the X-men and the characters, I wouldn't feel the need to write fanfic, would I? But just to clear up everything, I **DO NOT** own the characters or X-men.

**Summary:** Christmas is here and everyone's going home for the holidays. Jubilee decides to bite the bullet and go home, but not to the home everyone else _THINKS_ she's going to.

**Notes:** This is set sometime after her visit to Aunt Hope but before House of M.

* * *

**Christmas Homecoming...**

Jubilee sighed as she said goodbye to Wolverine and everyone at the mansion. She hated lying to them but it wasn't her fault that they _assumed _she would be going home to visit her Aunt Hope.

Not long after her return from California, her Aunt Hope showed up alive and invited her home for the holidays, so it wasn't Jubilee's fault that everyone at the Salem Center just took for granted that that was where she would be spending her Christmas.

_'It's funny how the headmistress is a telepath and yet, she has no idea what really goes on in my head.'_ Jubilee thought, laughing lightly to herself as she hugged Emma Frost one last time before climbing in the taxi waiting out side the front gates for her.

Sometimes Jubilee just didn't get it. Sometimes she would feel as if she were a member of the team and then other times, they would just ignore her as if she were some kid.

_'I'm no kid. I'll be eighteen in two months so ha!'_ She thought triumphantly.

It was yet another one of her silent victories. She seemed to be having those a lot lately.

She'd had one when she aced her private mission last week, she had one when she found out her Aunt Hope was alive and she'd had one when she and Angelo had made it on their own a few months ago.

Another sigh escaped the young Miss. Lee as thoughts of her dead friend came back to her. When would she stop thinking of him? When would the wounds heal?

Never.

Sure Paige had said she would get over it soon but that had been three months ago. Paige knew nothing of hardship. Her family was wonderful, she was an X-man, her boyfriend was completely devoted to her and she had no doubts that she was doing the right thing most of the time.

That was another thing Jubilee envied about her blond friend. She was happy. Jubilee had gotten over her parents death and had found a way to be happy. She had been a homeless mall-rat but found a way to be happy. She was "Wolverine's sidekick" but found a way to be happy. The death of friends, family and even a school-girl crush had come and gone and still she found a way to be happy; but lately, she had found it increasingly harder to find happiness in her life. Paige was lucky. No matter what was going on, she was happy.

_'How can one death change so much?'_ She asked herself with tears in her eyes.

She had loved him, that's how. She had asked Paige if maybe she loved him and didn't know it right after he had died but now, looking out of the window at the snow, Jubilee knew she had indeed loved Angelo Espinosa. There would never be another person like him no matter how long she lived, she was sure of it.

_'Even Wolverine can't help me out with this one.'_ She thought as the taxi stopped in front of the airport.

Paying for the taxi, Jubilee realized this was the first time she would travel to California by herself; other than her visit to Aunt Hope, that is.

As the taxi drove off and she walked into the airport Jubilee couldn't help but ask herself why she didn't do this more often. Traveling by yourself was much better then doing it with a whole horde of people. But even without all the people she normally traveled with, there was no getting rid of the strange stares people would throw her way.

_'Do I have a stamp on my head that says "mutant" or something?'_ She wondered, glaring slightly at the lady who took her ticket.

As she walked to the plane though, her rational side took over.

_'You are traveling alone the day before Christmas and you only have one bag with you.'_ She reminded herself, sitting down in her seat.

Taking her hair tie off her arm and swooping her hair up into a messy bun, Jubilee couldn't help but feel that things were going way too smoothly.

_'Shouldn't I be more worried or sad about this?'_

Jubilee shrugged the feeling off as just being overly mature for her age, but that rational side of her wouldn't have it.

_'You're not in California yet, dear.'_ It said calmly, sounding a lot like Emma. _'Wait until you get where you're going. That's when the real test begins.'_

* * *

**-Sometime Later-**

After the plane touched down in California, Jubilee decided to go shopping at the local mini mart before heading home, trying to hold off the inevitable as long as humanly possible.

The closer and closer she got to the apartment, the more frightening the whole situation became.

_'What will it look like?'_ She thought as she walked down the street.

_'The same as it did when you left it, stupid.'_

There was that rational side again; oh how she hated her rational side. But as she reached the apartment building, even her rational side retreated into the depths of her mind as her fears washed over her.

_'What will it be like?'_ She wondered climbing the steps.

_'Will it still smell like him?'_

Step.

_'Will it still feel like home?'_

Step.

_'You haven't been here since the funeral.'_

Step.

_'What if you still can't take it?'_

Step.

_'Would you still be living here if he was alive?'_

Jubilee was glad when she finally reached the door to the apartment, for at that moment, all coherent thought left her; not even her emotions made an appearance. It was like every fiber of her being held it's breath, waiting for this one moment in time.

_'It's either now or never. You can do it.'_ The practical side encouraged as she fished around in her purse for the key.

Sticking the key into the lock, Jubilee found it easier to keep all her thoughts and worries hidden away then she had originally thought.

As the door swung open, there were no tears, no flood of sadness and no _death_ feeling to the place as had expected. All that was there was a sense of duty and routine.

Walking into the kitchen, Jubilee put her duffel bag, purse and grocery bags on the counter before walking to the refrigerator. Opening the cabinet beside it, she took out a big garbage bag and cleaned the kitchen of spoiled, rotten or molded items. After tying the trash bag and leaving it outside the door, she restocked the kitchen with the items recently purchased from the mini mart.

Taking another trash bag she stepped into the living room and cleaned up all the fast food trash and emptied all the ashtrays, then proceeded to clean the bathroom and her old room. When that bag was full and set outside the door, she took another trash bag and started for Angelo's old room.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and feasted her eyes upon the mess that used to be Angelo's living space. Taking yet another deep breath, she started cleaning the room of all fast food trash and once again emptying ashtrays. After yet another bag was full, she took the laundry basket, filled it with Angelo's dirty clothes and taking her keys from the counter, she secured the apartment and went to do the laundry in the basement.

After all his clothes were washed and dried, she returned to the apartment and hung all his shirts in his closet, then proceeded to fold his jeans and put them in their assigned drawers.

After the apartment was cleaned to her liking, she stripped herself of her clothes and took a long, relaxing shower. She emerged an hour and half later, wrapped in a towel and combing out her long, wet hair.

Deciding it would be best to unpack now, she took her duffel bag from the kitchen, made sure the door and windows were locked and went to her room to unpack her clothes and look over the things she had left in the apartment.

When she grew tired of sitting in her room, she thought of calling Wolverine like she had promised to tell him she had made it to California OK, but thought better of it. Wolverine would ask her how she was liking her Aunt Hope's and she would have to lie to him again. She knew that he knew she was lying but she also knew that he trusted her enough to make her own decisions. She also hadn't talked in over three hours and didn't know how well her voice would hold up in a phone conversation.

Heaving a great sigh, she got up, put her silk, bubblegum pink bathrobe on over her lounge pants and tank top and walked down the hallway back to Angelo's room.

Now would be the moment of truth.

Could she go into his room without the urge to clean in her veins and not break down?

Opening the door, she found that it was no harder then walking into the apartment. Her first mission was to go to his closet. She had always like his closet. They would sit up in his room for hours and talk and at one time or another, she would find herself searching through his clothes.

_'They still smell like him.'_ She thought.

Even the ones that she had just washed smelled lightly of smoke, cologne and that special Angelo smell that made everything, in Jubilee's opinion, smell extraordinary.

Feeling the need to be closer to his memory, Jubilee stripped herself of her bathrobe, took out Angelo's favorite purple hoodie and slipped it over her head.

Brushing back a few tears, Jubilee shut the closet door and started for his dresser.

_'Just like he left it.'_

There were cologne and deodorant bottles all over the top, along with Ange's favorite cross necklace, his headphones and goatee trimmer.

Taking one look at the goatee trimmer, Jubilee erupted into silent laughter.

_'Good times, good times.'_ She thought fondly, remembering when Angelo first decided to grow a goatee, and his reasoning.

**-Flashback; Massachusetts Academy-**

_Jubilee walked around the corner of the boys dorms, looking for Angelo. There was an anime marathon coming on at six and she knew Angelo would kill her if she watched it without him._

_Peaking into his room, Jubilee found him looking into his mirror and rubbing his chin thoughtfully._

_Laughing, she startled him out of his temporary daze. He whirled around to face her as she asked; "Ange, what are you doing?"_

_"I'm thinking about growing a goatee, what do you think?" He asked looking back into the mirror._

_"I think you looking fine without one. What's the sudden fascination with a goatee anyway? First Scott experiments with one, then Gambit figures he'll try one out and now you. What do you guys see in it? It's just a patch of hair." She told him, rolling her eyes at his offended look._

_"Just a patch of hair? Just a patch of hair? A soul patch is a patch of hair but a goatee, a goatee is a statement."_

_"A statement of what? That you're done with puberty?" She asked, laughing again._

_"You'd have to be a guy to get it, chica." He explained, waving her off._

_"Enlighten me then, chico." She demanded, walking further into the room. "What is the difference between a soul patch and a goatee cause I'm not seeing one. It's just facial hair."_

_"Just facial hair?" He muttered. "Ay dios mio. A soul patch is girly."_

_"Girly?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"And a goatee is manly?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Not it's not! It's goatish or devilish, but not manly" She laughed, walking to stand beside him and running her finger across his chin. "And anyways, you've got that nice, close shave thing going on. Why ruin it?"_

_"Facial hair..." He started._

_"...makes a statement, I know." She interrupted. "But what kind of statement?" _

_"Good looking guys have facial hair." He stated simply, turning back to the mirror._

_"You're a good looking guy and you don't have facial hair."_

_"Not the point, chica. Cyclops, Wolverine, Nightcrawler; they all have facial hair and they're all babe magnets. Gambit is a big time ladies man and he also has some pretty nice scruff going."_

_Jubilee laughed out loud._

_"You're growing a goatee because you wanna be a babe magnet?"_

_"Si."_

_"You're hopeless." She laughed, thinking that he already looked good without the miracle goatee._

_"Si, but you love me anyway." He reminded, slinging an arm around her waist._

**-End Flashback-**

Thinking back, Jubilee was glad that he hadn't taken her advice on that one, on account of the fact that he looked really hot with his "babe magnet goatee."

Jubilee sighed and walked over to sit on the bed. She had hoped that coming back here one last time would give her the courage to let go and let the apartment be rented out to others but this trip had only put things into perspective for her and it was definitely not the perspective she had hoped for.

She knew that all the X-men probably thought she had sold the place right after she had come out here to "clean it out" after Angelo's funeral and she had no intention of telling them the truth anytime soon. Telling them that she was making payments on an apartment on the opposite side of the country in which she lived would only make her look stupid. She wasn't a millionaire and she didn't have this money to throw away; but since while under the mansion roof, the mansion pays for most of ones expenses, all of her extra cash went to renting this place for as long as possible.

She wasn't ready to let go of him and she knew she would never be able to keep all of his things. Heck, she wasn't even able to keep all of her own things. She wasn't a clothes hound and she was a light traveler, she didn't have extra space for things that weren't dire necessities. When it was time to leave she wanted to do so without a moving van, but she couldn't do that here. She couldn't just throw all of Angelo's things away. They meant something to him and so in turn, they meant something to her. Letting go is never easy, but she never figured it would be this hard.

Laying back on the bed, Jubilee made a decision. Taking her phone from the pocket of her lounge pants, she quickly dialed a familiar number and was happy when she received an answer.

"Hey, Wolvie...Yeah it's Jubes. Look, some things have come up and I've decided to stay here in Cali for a while...No, I don't think that will be enough time...No, everything's fine...No you don't need to come visit...Yeah it's just something I need to do...Alright...Yeah, I promise to check in...You too...Bye."

After hanging up from the short conversation, Jubilee instantly felt lighter and happier. Snuggling up to Angelo's old pillow, she let a small smile break out across her face before whispering:

"Merry Christmas, Angelito."

* * *

_Ok, I know it kind of sucked and it was kind of depressing, but I felt that I should write a Christmas fic. Don't ask me why my Christmas fics feature Jubes cause I don't rightly know. I hope you all enjoyed it, despite it's lameness, and I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy Holidays. (Please Review)_

_-anon goddess_ **;)**


End file.
